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Tenant hits you up at 10:43 PM:
“FYI I didn't pay rent last month because the fridge light was out. LMK if you’re gonna fix it.”
First off: Who’s living in their fridge?
Like it's Narnia: Section 8 Edition?
You can’t sit quiet for weeks and then come outta nowhere like,
“Hey, rent’s canceled 'c...
There’s always that dude at the real estate meetup.
Cargo shorts.
Bluetooth earpiece.
Smells like he owns 6 units and a deep fryer.
One recently leaned back, took a deep breath, and blessed the room with:
“If your lease says no pets, they can’t bring an Emotional Support Animal.”
Then smirks l...
This Spring, one of our landlords got cute.
Tenant skipped rent.
So he shut off the water.
Figure: no pay, not shower.
And since the water bill was in his name?
Why not?
Two days later, the tenant peed in a 5-gallon bucket...
And dumped it out of the second-story window.
Right above the land...
Well, this is a first...
A tenant mailed her rent check — with glitter inside the envelope.
Not a glittery card.
Just loose glitter.
Everywhere.
Like the envelope was a piñata.
So yeah, totally get the urge.
You wanna ban checks forever.
Make everyone pay rent by ACH so your phone stops ligh...
It happens...
Tenant never signed a lease.
Pays cash.
Texts you once a month:
"Rent's under the mat."
Now he's blasting Eminem at 2 AM with a cousin living in your garage.
You ask:
"No lease... I can just kick 'em out, right?"
Nope.
Here's what 72% of landlords miss:
A tenant with no leas...
Illinois may get this right for a change.
There's a Bill on the table.
It passed both houses.
And should become law.
Meet SB 1563.
It says that if someone’s criminally trespassing in your rental, then cops can bounce them.
No more, “Sorry, this is a civil matter” while the dude who broke in is...
We hear this all the time:
Sink's clogged.
Bedroom smells a little weird.
ACs on vacation.
And suddenly the tenant's like:
"I ain't paying rent until this is fixed!"
👀 Hold up.
That ain't how this works...
Is it truly uinhabitable??
Uninhabitable means unlivable.
Think:
No heat in Janua...
You got this text from a tenant:
“Don’t you have to give, like… a week’s notice?”
Hold up...
Brother, you’ve been sending faucet updates since Easter.
One photo looked like a crime scene.
Another might've been spaghetti.
Now you're ready to fix it, and he's wanting 2 weeks notice.
Like you’...
Wanna hear something sad?
Some folks think they need a cop to serve an eviction notice.
Like it's a scene from Yellowstone and someone's about to get hogtied. 😅
You're not kicking down a door.
You're handing over some paper to an adult (or kid 13+ older).
Know who else does this?
Mailmen.
A...
Tenants lie.
About people.
About pets.
About how they can’t show income, but they “flip four-wheelers on the side.”
That's why credit checks matter.
Hard to fake a 520 credit score.
But remember HB 3564 we mentioned?
It's bad. Real bad.
And banning credit checks is one of the worst parts.
...Illinois just slid into your DMs.
It's another new law.
And it's not flirting — it's coming for your fees.
If this passes (likely), it'll:
- kill move-in fees
- cap background fees
- limit late rent fees (anything but those!!)
Looks like you couldn't use credit reports too.
...This just happened.
Like, days ago.
Tenant moves out.
A Legal Plan Member did a final walkthrough.
And — boom.
Trash everywhere.
Cocaine on the counter.
Like they were planning one last party... and never showed up.
Then in the closet?
A tower of furnace filters. Still in the wrapper.
T...